Digi-Talk Show

by Philzurfer

Digi-Talk Show theme music plays.

Philzurfer: Welcome to the Digi-Talk Show! With our host, me, Philzurfer, author of Pokemon: Another Story

Cheers come from the left side (the pokemon AND digimon lovers). Boos come from the left side (the digimon and pokemon feuders). And the middle row begins to shoot missles at Philzurfer.

Philzurfer: What the heck is YOUR problem.

David, Philzurfer's ever annoying producer/ director/ photographer/smarty pants/little brother etc., whispers in his ear.

David: They're the DBZ and pokemon/digimon feuders.

Another missle barely misses Philzurfer.

Philzurfer: Security!

David dresses up as a security guard and takes out his
kame-hame-poke-digi-bazooka.

David: All right move out! Or else you get beaten by saiyan-pika-digi power.

The feuders leave at bazooka point.

Philzurfer(mumbling): Why can't those people just get along? (host voice) Anyway, today our guests are the digi-destined and their digimon. Please give a round of applause for ....Tai and Augumon!

The leader and his fire digimon walk onto the stage.

Tai: Hey! I'm here! Ha ha ha!

Tai flexes his muscles. Augumon, in order to show off, throws a fireball from his mouth, igniting Philzurfer's future fanfics.

Philzurfer: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOW HOW WILL I REMEMBER THE ENDING TO THE SEASON FINALE!

David, as a fireman, puts out the fire.

David: I told you not to bring your stories here.

Philzurfer: LEAVE!!!!!

David scampers away. Philzurfer glares at the two stars.

Philzurfer: Be glad I'm not sueing Fox Kids.

Augumon: Actually, we're property of Saban entertainment...

Tai: and we were made in Japan.....

Augumon: So you'd have to........

Philzurfer: SHUT UP!!!!!! (host voice) Now put your hands together for...Matt and Gabumon!

Matt and Gabumon walk onto the stage. Matt waves.

Matt: No autographs, please.

Gabumon: Matt, has it ever occured to you, that they might not want your autograph?

Matt: WHO ASKED YOU?????!!!!!!!

Gabumon: Sorry.

Philzurfer: Now give a round of sound for.......Sora and Biyomon!

Sora and Biyomon walk on stage.

Biyomon: Wow! I can't believe I'm on TV!

Sora: Biyomon, first of all, you were created for TV. Second of all, we're not on TV. This is a fanfic.

Biyomon: Oh, right!

Philzurfer: Now whistle and cheer for.....Izzy and Tentomon.

Izzy comes on, carrying his laptop, like always. Tentomon lets sparks fly from his wings.

Tentomon: Hello, everybody!

Izzy: Hiya! I'm glad to be on fanfiction.net. I've logged on to it many times. And now...

Tentomon: Izzy, you've been here thousands of times. They have a section for "Digimon" you know.

Izzy: Geniuses make mistakes too you know.

Philzurfer(mumbling): And I thought he was modest. (host voice) Now, here's Mimi and Palmon!

Mimi: I can't believe they don't ask permission from us to be put on some second-rate fan fic.

Philzurfer: THIS ISN'T A SECOND-RATE FANFIC!

Palmon: Show some little respect, Mimi! We're cartoon characters. Our creators gave permission to these fanfic sites.

Mimi: Oh, okay.

Philzurfer: Now for that king of courage and his digi-pal.....Joe and Gommamon!

Gommamon: Ha, King of Courage! That's a laugh!

Joe ignores him and stares at the audience.

Joe: (gulp) I think I'm allergic to talk-shows.

Gommamon pushes Joe to his seat.

Philzurfer: Here's those lovable oddballs......T.K. and Patamon.

T.K.: Oddballs?

Patamon: What do you mean by that?

Philzurfer: I'm sorry. I'm running out of introductions. And lastly, (to himself) Thank goodness. (out loud) the latest digi-destined and digimon duo.....Kari and Gatomon!

Kari: Hello everybody. Hello, hello!

Gatomon: Kari, do you always have to be so cheerful?

Kari: Yes!

Philzurfer: Hey, stop robbing my questions!

Gatomon: Sorry.

Everybody sits down.

Philzurfer: Okay, I'll review for those who have come here for the sake of a laugh. Seven of these children were sucked into another world and befriended by these creatures called Digimon. They were sent to save the digital world and this world from total annialation from deleted viruses. They recently had a new member, Kari. And now they're figting
the Dark Masters. That is when they're not starring in fanfics.

Everyone nods.

Philzurfer: My first question is for Tai. Everybody knows you're the leader but how did you become leader?

Tai: Well, you see, aside from the fact that I'm smart and daring, my digimon, Augumon, was the first to digivolve.

Philzurfer: Okay that explains everthing. (mouths to the audience) Yeah right! (host voice) There's something that's really been confusing me. How come when your digimon first digivolved to Ultimate form, you went back to your in-training forms, and now you're going back to rookie form.

Gommamon: That's easy. We're getting stronger.

Philzurfer: No offense, but I like it the old way. It added variety.

Biyomon: Well that shows how much you know!

Philzurfer: Right. Now I want to know how come Augumon and Gabumon always are the first to proceed to their next level.

All the digi-destined and digimon except Tai, Matt, Augumon, and Gabumon shout out.

Shouts: Yeah! How come?

Tai, Matt, Augumon, Gabumon: Ask the writers!

Suddenly, David comes on the stage as a reporter and confronts the "accused" cartoons.

David: Is it true that you have bribed the writers with money to make you four the most powerful characters?

Everyody stares at the "accused proven guilty."

Philzurfer not wanting any blood shed in this G-rated fic, moves on.

Philzurfer: Gatomon, how come you're the only digimon in Champion form?

Gatomon: I'm older than the others.

Philzurfer: Again the writers are defying digimon laws.

Everybody looks at the host.

Philzurfer(sweating): I mean that very politely. Patamon, aren't you tired of being behind the rest.

Patamon: What do you mean?

Philzurfer: Well, you're the only who still hasn't digivolved to Ultimate form. And you were the last one to digivolve to Champion.

Patamon: Hey, I'm special!

T.K.: That's right! Even though Patamon is small and not as old as the rest, doesn't mean he's a worthless piece of deleted data.

Philzurfer: I didn't say that.

T.K. sees Patamon looking at him sternly.

T.K.: I mean that in the most polite way.

Philzurfer: That's my line. Anyway, everybody says Tai and Sora are meant for each other. Is that true?

Tai and Sora: NO!!!

Augumon and Biyomon: YES!!!

Philzurfer: Well there seems to be a bit of conflict here. I personally think your digimon know you better than you do. How about it audience?

The whole audience gives a cheer of agreement.

Philzurfer: And Mimi. People think you're stringing Izzy and Joe along. Will you choose one of them?

Mimi: Eeeewww! Those dorks! Never!

Izzy and Joe: We're not dorks!

Philzurfer: Matt, do you have a girlfriend.

Matt: Yes! Brittney Spears!

Philzurfer: Sure. T.K. how do you feel about Kari?

T.K. walks and whispers to Philzurfer.

Philzurfer: Oh, you want to kiss her and marry her!

T.K.: You weren't supposed to say that!!!!!!!!!

Philzurfer: Whoops!

Kari blushes.

Kari: That's okay, T.K. I think you're cute!

She rushes over and kisses T.K.

T.K. faints and gets up to return a kiss.

Tai: Oh, what the heck!

He kisses Sora passionately. Soon they're in a french kiss lock.

Mimi stops arguing with Joe and Izzy and kisses them both.

Mimi: My Dad knows this scientist who can clone people. You know what
this means

Izzy and Joe: Mimi for both of us!

Matt: This is no fair! Everybody's in love!

Philzurfer(sarcastically): I thougt you had Brittney Spears.

Matt: Shut up!!!!!!!

A girl walks onto the stage. Matt's eyes pop out of his head.

Matt: W-w-who are you?

Girl: I'm Tori, the rejected digi-destined. All the male characters stopped acting and tried to go out with me.

Matt: W-w-will you go out with me?

Tori: All right.

Philzurfer: How cute. Young love.

BOOM!!!!! A big hole is blasted in the wall. In come Devimon, Etemon, Myotismon, and the Dark Masters.

Philzurfer: You're not supposed to be here!

Devimon: We were reading the fanfics on this website.

Etemon: And we saw that the bad guys always lost.

Myotismon: So now we will not only try to destroy the digidestined...

Piedmon: ....but we will wipe out all the authors on this site.

Metal Seadramon: Starting....

Puppetmon: ...with...

Mechanimon: ...you!

Philzurfer: Oh...BLEEP!

The digi-destined stop their kissing and realize what is happening.

Digi-destined: Let's go!

Augumon: Augumon digilvolve to.....Greymon!

Gabumon: Gabumon digivolve to......Garurumon!

Biyomon: Biyomon digivolve to.......Birdramon!

Tentomon: Tentomon digivolve to......Kabuterimon!

Palmon: Palmon digivolve to......Togemon!

Gommamon: Gommamon digivolve to Ikkakumon!

Patamon: Patamon digivolve to.....Angemon!

All the Champions attack including Gatomon. The villans pt up a fight.

Tori: Fight, Prettymon!

Matt: Prettymon?!

Tori: She was also fired.

Prettymon: Prettymon digivolve to......Beautymon!

Beautymon steps in fromt and all of the other digimon and bats her eyelashes.

The villans go gaga and crowd around her. Suddenly, a bunch of not-so-feminine digimon come forward.

All the Villains: Honey! Sweetie! Evil-poo! It's not what you think!

Wives: Oh, yeah. Then what is it?

Tai: Who would've thought thos creeps had wives.

Kari: And such ugly wives!

Wives: What did you call us?!!!!

The wives start ramaging.

Greymon: Greymon digivolve to.....Metal Greymon!

Garurumon: Garurumon digivolve to.....Weregarrurrumon!

Birdramon: Birdramon digivolve to......Garudamon!

Kabuterimon: Kabuterimon digivolve to...Mega Kabuterimon!

Togemon: Togemon digivolve to.....Lilymon!

Ikkakumon: Ikkakumon digivolve to.......Zudomon!

Angemon: Angemon digivolve to.....Holy Angemon!

Gatomon: Gatomon digivolve to......Angewomon!

Beautymon: Beautymon digivolve to.....Gorgeousmon!

T.K.: YES!!! He finally digivolved. How's that for deleted data?

Philzurfer: I never said that!!!!!!

Matt: What's your crest, Tori?

Tori: I have the Crest of Attractiveness.

Matt: It suits you so well.

The wives are beaten off and the villans all take a special digi-potion that makes digimon see all digimon of the oppisote sex, unattractive. Piedmon takes a powder from his pocket.

Piedmon: Take this!

He throws the powder at the digimon. A puff of smoke blows. When it is cleared by David with a fan, new digimon appear. The digi-destined recognize one...Skullgreymon.

Humans: What happened?

Suddenly, a projector shows Gennai.

Gennai: If you want to know what those are pay $5,000.

Philzurfer: Just speak up, old man!

Gennai: Piedmon made all your digimon digevolve to an evil form. Skullgreymon, you know. Then there's Spike Garrurrumon, Blade Garudamon, Thunder Kabuterimon, Poison Lilymon, Smasher Zudomon, Deviangemon, Deviangewomon, and Uglymon.

Philzurfer: Okay, shut up!

Philzurfer kicks the projector and Gennai dissapears. All the digimon turn in a menacing way towards the humans.

Humans: Help!

David: David digivolve to.....Wolf Davidmon!

Humans: WHAT!!!!!!!!????????

Philzurfer: Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've seen a lot of weird stuff today, but this is too psycho.

Wolf Davidmon: Hey, its YOUR kooky fanfic! Howl of Freedom!

Izzy: What a corny name for an attack.

Wolf Davidmon has howled and soon War Greymon pops out of Skullgreymon. Metal Garrurrumon popped out of Spike Garrurrumon.

Soon, a whole bunch of different digimon come out of the evil forms.

Joe: As if that wasn't enough!

Philzurfer: Who are you guys?

Digimon # 1: I'm Pheonixmon. The Mega form of Birdramon.

Digimon # 2: I'm Boltmon. The Mega form of Kabuterimon.

Digimon # 3: I'm Petalmon. The Mega form of Togemon.

Digimon # 4: I'm Shellermon. The Mega form of Ikkakumon.

Digimon # 5: I'm Star Angemon. The Mega form of Angemon.

Digimon # 6: I'm Comet Angewomon. The Mega form of Gatomon.

Digimon # 7: I'm Drop-Dead-Gorgeousmon. The Mega form of Beautymon.

Digi-destined: Get the bad guys!

All the Megas perform their attacks and ashes are left of the evil digimon.

Digi-destined: Yea!!!!!

All the digimon de-digevolve to egg form. Wolf Davidmon de-digivolves to David.

Tai: Good-bye!

Matt: Let's go, Tori!

Sora: Wait for me, Tai, honey!

Izzy: Mimi, let's go meet that scientist.

Mimi: Yeah! Come on, Joe.

Joe: Right behind you, my pink goddess.

T.K.: Thanks for giving Patamon such digi-volving action.

Kari: T.K., when we get to the trailer, wanna play house? You be the daddy, I'll be the mommy, and our digimon will be our children.

T.K.: It'll be like practice for the future.

Tori: Maybe now, Saban will make me the ninth digi-destined.

Philzurfer: Well, that was interesting.

David: Very.

Philzurfer: Hey, maybe I can digivolve.

David: Yeah, right.

Philzurfer: Philzurfer digivolve to......digivolve to.....

David: See ya folks!

Philzurfer: DIGIVOLVE TO....DIGIVOLVE TO....DIGIVOLVE TO.....

Screen fades to black.