The Jerry Springer Digmon Episode

by Faery_grl

Note: Digimon is my favorite show, so don't think because I wrote this story I'm all anti digimon and stuff. The only kind of mon I don't like is Pokemon.

: : camera zooms in on audience and then Jerry: :

Jerry: So here we are today with guests who are trying to tell their friends something very important. Here's our first guest, Joe.

Joe: Hello Jerry.

: : crosses legs: :

Jerry: So, why are you here today?

Joe: Well, I have to tell my friend Matt something very important.

Jerry: Okay, you go into the backroom and we'll bring out Matt.

: : Matt walks out staggering and swaying: :

Jerry: Do you have any idea why you're here?

Matt: (up from his seat, his face right in the camera's lens) Hi Mom! Look! I'm on TV!

Jerry: Yes… well could you please sit in your chair?

Matt: You startin' somethin' with me? You wanna fight?

: : he was falling all over and his voice was all slurred: :

Jerry: No, I don't want to start a fight with you, but could we please get on the show?

Matt: (talking to a guy in the audience) Hey, you got any weed?

Jerry: What the hell, Joe just get out here.

Joe: Hi Jerry, hi Matt. Matt? : : he had passed out on the floor: :

*15 minutes later*

Matt: Ohh… Okay, I'm okay.

: :gets up from the floor, still swaying from the drugs: :

Jerry: Okay, just sit in your chair; Joe has something to say to you.

Joe: I have to ask, well tell you something very important…

Matt: What?

Joe: Well…

Matt: Could you hurry up? I've got to go to the bathroom.

Joe. Well… I know we share the same feelings for each other, and I ju-.

Matt: You mean you took me all the way here just to tell me you're gay?!

Joe: Yes! I mean no! I was goi-.

Jerry: We have to go to commercial break, you two go in the back, we do have other guests!

*5 minutes later*

Jerry: We're back with friends who have to tell their friends something. And here's our next guest, Izzy. What would you like to say?

Izzy: Well, you see, I've been cheating on my girlfriend Mimi for the past 6 months and I think it's time I've told her.

Jerry: Okay, just go back stage.

: :he goes back stage: :

Jerry: What Izzy doesn't know, is that Mimi's been cheating on him also.

Audience: Ooooh!

Jerry: Okay, Mimi, come on out.

Mimi: Hi!

: : flips her hair: :

Jerry: Hello Mimi. Do you know why you're here?

Mimi: Izzy's supposed to tell me something, but I have something to tell him too.

Audience: Oooooh!

Jerry: Okay, lets bring Izzy out.

: : he walks out: :

Izzy: Mimi, I have something to tell you.

Mimi: What?

: : she flips her hair and looks into her mirror: :

Izzy: I've been cheating on you with someone.

Mimi: With who?

: : she flips her hair again: :

Izzy: Kari.

Jerry: Let's bring Kari out.

: : as she comes out, Tai back in his seat in the audience next to Sora and T.K: :

Tai: What happened?

Sora: Izzy's cheating on Mimi.

Tai: Jerry! Jerry!

: : repeats this many times, the rest of the audience starting up: :

*5 minutes later*

: : Tai the only one standing: :

Tai: Jerry! Jerry!

: : Sora and T.K. pull him down: :

Mimi: Kari?

Tai: What about Kari?

Izzy: I've been cheating on Mimi with Kari!

Tai: You little…

: : jumps on stage onto Izzy and starts hitting him: :

: : the crowd gets going again: :

T.K.: How could you Kari?

Kari: Well… Hey! Mimi had something to say too!

: : everyone turns toward Mimi: :

: : Tai and Izzy look up from their fight, their shirts torn and their hair messed up even more than it usually is: :

Mimi: Well, I've been cheating on you too Izzy, I've been with Kari also.

: : everyone turns to Kari: :

Tai and Izzy: Kari?!

Kari: Well… umm… Hey! This show isn't about this stuff, I never did that!

Mimi: Aren't I good enough for you?

Tai, T.K., and Izzy: No!

Jerry: Lets just go to break. I need an aspirin.

*5 minutes later*

Jerry: In case you've just tuned in, we're talking about, oh who gives a hell? Lets just get to the point. Does anyone have any questions?

T.K: Matt, you and Joe are gay?!

Matt: Yes! I mean no! I mean, does any one have any weed?

T.K: Huh?

Matt: No! I did not say that! I'm not gay!

Tai: Joe, you're to good for him, you should find someone better.

Audience: Wooooo!

: : clapping and cheering: :

Sora: I have a comment. I seriously think you guys all need mental help.

Matt: So!

: : someone had just sold him a joint and he was already high from it: :

Tai: Hey! I thought I was your dealer!

Matt: I found someone better!

: : he gets up to punch Tai, but falls over: :

Tai: Oh well, more for me.

: : he pulls out a crack pipe and starts smoking it, right after, he throws up: :

Tai: Oh yeah, that hit the spot.

: : passes out: :

Sora: Am I the only sane person here?

: : as she says this, T.K. goes up to Tai and takes a joint out of his pocket and starts smoking it : :

Kari: Izzy, I'm leaving you!

Izzy: Why?

Kari: I found someone better!

Izzy: Who?

Kari: Tai!

Everyone: WHAT?!

Tai: I'm your brother! What have you been smoking?

: : he thinks for a few seconds: :

Tai: Can you hook me up?

Kari: Sure.

: : they talk for a minute: :

Jerry: Could we just get on with the show?

Matt: Are the cameras on?

: : he was just getting up and he was swaying again: :

Jerry: Yes!

Matt: Hi Mom! I'm on TV! Wassup back there?

: : he fell over on the equipment: :

Mimi: Ooh! Cameras!

: : looking dreamy : :

Mimi: If there's anyone looking for a good time just call-

Jerry: Shut up!

: : calming down: :

Jerry: Sometimes people just need to express their true feelings and desires before-. Oh, who really cares about this last word shit?

Tai: Move it Jerry!

: : gets in camera's lens: :

If you watched this show and need the hook up, call me at 555-DUST. Again that number is 555-DUST.

Sora: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm the only normal one here! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

: : about 15 minutes later two people from the mental hospital come with a straight jacket and tie her up in it.

Izzy: You never would have guessed.

Tai: It's always the quiet ones.