The Jerry Springer Digmon Episode
Note: Digimon is my favorite show, so don't think because I wrote this story I'm all anti digimon and stuff. The only kind of mon I don't like is Pokemon.
: : camera zooms in on audience and then Jerry: :
Jerry: So here we are today with guests who are trying to tell their friends something very important. Here's our first guest, Joe.
Joe: Hello Jerry.
: : crosses legs: :
Jerry: So, why are you here today?
Joe: Well, I have to tell my friend Matt something very important.
Jerry: Okay, you go into the backroom and we'll bring out Matt.
: : Matt walks out staggering and swaying: :
Jerry: Do you have any idea why you're here?
Matt: (up from his seat, his face right in the camera's lens) Hi Mom! Look! I'm on TV!
Jerry: Yes… well could you please sit in your chair?
Matt: You startin' somethin' with me? You wanna fight?
: : he was falling all over and his voice was all slurred: :
Jerry: No, I don't want to start a fight with you, but could we please get on the show?
Matt: (talking to a guy in the audience) Hey, you got any weed?
Jerry: What the hell, Joe just get out here.
Joe: Hi Jerry, hi Matt. Matt? : : he had passed out on the floor: :
*15 minutes later*
Matt: Ohh… Okay, I'm okay.
: :gets up from the floor, still swaying from the drugs: :
Jerry: Okay, just sit in your chair; Joe has something to say to you.
Joe: I have to ask, well tell you something very important…
Matt: Could you hurry up? I've got to go to the bathroom.
Joe. Well… I know we share the same feelings for each other, and I ju-.
Matt: You mean you took me all the way here just to tell me you're gay?!
Joe: Yes! I mean no! I was goi-.
Jerry: We have to go to commercial break, you two go in the back, we do have other guests!
*5 minutes later*
Jerry: We're back with friends who have to tell their friends something. And here's our next guest, Izzy. What would you like to say?
Izzy: Well, you see, I've been cheating on my girlfriend Mimi for the past 6 months and I think it's time I've told her.
Jerry: Okay, just go back stage.
: :he goes back stage: :
Jerry: What Izzy doesn't know, is that Mimi's been cheating on him also.
Jerry: Okay, Mimi, come on out.
: : flips her hair: :
Jerry: Hello Mimi. Do you know why you're here?
Mimi: Izzy's supposed to tell me something, but I have something to tell him too.
Jerry: Okay, lets bring Izzy out.
: : he walks out: :
Izzy: Mimi, I have something to tell you.
: : she flips her hair and looks into her mirror: :
Izzy: I've been cheating on you with someone.
Mimi: With who?
: : she flips her hair again: :
Jerry: Let's bring Kari out.
: : as she comes out, Tai back in his seat in the audience next to Sora and T.K: :
Tai: What happened?
Sora: Izzy's cheating on Mimi.
Tai: Jerry! Jerry!
: : repeats this many times, the rest of the audience starting up: :
*5 minutes later*
: : Tai the only one standing: :
Tai: Jerry! Jerry!
: : Sora and T.K. pull him down: :
Tai: What about Kari?
Izzy: I've been cheating on Mimi with Kari!
Tai: You little…
: : jumps on stage onto Izzy and starts hitting him: :
: : the crowd gets going again: :
T.K.: How could you Kari?
Kari: Well… Hey! Mimi had something to say too!
: : everyone turns toward Mimi: :
: : Tai and Izzy look up from their fight, their shirts torn and their hair messed up even more than it usually is: :
Mimi: Well, I've been cheating on you too Izzy, I've been with Kari also.
: : everyone turns to Kari: :
Tai and Izzy: Kari?!
Kari: Well… umm… Hey! This show isn't about this stuff, I never did that!
Mimi: Aren't I good enough for you?
Tai, T.K., and Izzy: No!
Jerry: Lets just go to break. I need an aspirin.
*5 minutes later*
Jerry: In case you've just tuned in, we're talking about, oh who gives a hell? Lets just get to the point. Does anyone have any questions?
T.K: Matt, you and Joe are gay?!
Matt: Yes! I mean no! I mean, does any one have any weed?
Matt: No! I did not say that! I'm not gay!
Tai: Joe, you're to good for him, you should find someone better.
: : clapping and cheering: :
Sora: I have a comment. I seriously think you guys all need mental help.
: : someone had just sold him a joint and he was already high from it: :
Tai: Hey! I thought I was your dealer!
Matt: I found someone better!
: : he gets up to punch Tai, but falls over: :
Tai: Oh well, more for me.
: : he pulls out a crack pipe and starts smoking it, right after, he throws up: :
Tai: Oh yeah, that hit the spot.
: : passes out: :
Sora: Am I the only sane person here?
: : as she says this, T.K. goes up to Tai and takes a joint out of his pocket and starts smoking it : :
Kari: Izzy, I'm leaving you!
Kari: I found someone better!
Tai: I'm your brother! What have you been smoking?
: : he thinks for a few seconds: :
Tai: Can you hook me up?
: : they talk for a minute: :
Jerry: Could we just get on with the show?
Matt: Are the cameras on?
: : he was just getting up and he was swaying again: :
Matt: Hi Mom! I'm on TV! Wassup back there?
: : he fell over on the equipment: :
Mimi: Ooh! Cameras!
: : looking dreamy : :
Mimi: If there's anyone looking for a good time just call-
Jerry: Shut up!
: : calming down: :
Jerry: Sometimes people just need to express their true feelings and desires before-. Oh, who really cares about this last word shit?
Tai: Move it Jerry!
: : gets in camera's lens: :
If you watched this show and need the hook up, call me at 555-DUST. Again that number is 555-DUST.
Sora: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm the only normal one here! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
: : about 15 minutes later two people from the mental hospital come with a straight jacket and tie her up in it.
Izzy: You never would have guessed.
Tai: It's always the quiet ones.